Faith-Self Love and Self Belief


This week it’s all about the heart. Showing love for others, but how much love do we show ourselves?

“Run to the rescue with love and peace will follow.”- River Phoenix via Joaquin Phoenix-Oscars 2020

I have never been a tarot card person. I just never understood them. I got that they helped you on the life journey and it was around the four elements and the hero’s path. I think I have always had a slight fear of these cards due to growing up not understanding the significance. Sometimes core beliefs prevent us from growing due to fear. Getting assistance with cards for yourself can be taken to a level that you do not need to go. You always need to go within to your own God source but sometimes when we need assistance, it is a way to receive guidance with another person helping or with yourself. I think that when you don’t know how to listen to your inner self and understand what guidance is or just your mind running, you need another person to help gain clarity. With that said, there are a lot of those with darkness within and you will need to be very careful who you let into your energy field. I do not allow others to read for me very often. I have learned to connect within. You will never find the answers you seek from someone else; they are always within you. Others can help you see that, or cards can help you connect with that. A reader is only as clear as the work that they have done on themselves.

With that said, this last year I found a deck that I could relate to and understand. It was called Dreams of Gaia Tarot*


I wanted something that was updated and that I could relate and understand for myself with symbology and descriptions for the present energies to help you evolve. Not a fortune telling expedition. This is not about that. This is how I use them for myself, to help my own inner growth. You may not want to use cards to help support you and that is ok. Everyone has their own belief system that works for them, and I respect that. Your path is your path, I just have learned not to block anything because it can thwart growing due to fear of what you do not understand. You are putting the energy into things, not the other way around.

“Protection comes from the inside.”-Rev. Sally Perry

Really it is all about connection to God on the outside and then God within yourself.

I am writing this blog because today I pulled one for myself and I thought it would be relevant to others with its words. You are always in charge of your own choices; you can choose to be of the light or of the dark. Everything is energy. So today I learned another way to look at FAITH. Faith in God and yourself. We are children of God. All of us have shadows or darkness that needs to be witnessed, understood and transmuted. This is the real inner work.

“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.”- Gospel of Thomas

Faith is where you have the strength though the grace of God to go within and look at this. The darkness is only an absence of light. When you turn on a light the shadow or dark disappears. So it is within us but you have to allow for the darkness to come up and be seen. Only you know what your shadows are and sometimes we are not aware of them. This is why we need outside help and support to sometimes see what we cannot, to help us release and show us how to deal with the darkness. Teachers, preachers, seers and shamans all help with areas to bring in the light. You must trust whoever you work with.

I have been ridiculed my entire life for my beliefs and way I have lived. It has chipped away at my self-esteem, my self-belief and my own self-love. When you choose to go against the status quo, people do not like that they cannot control you, they fear what they do not understand. So, because of fear, they condemn you, ridicule you and tear you down. My faith in God has been the only thing that has kept me going. Knowing that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am the only one that must account for my actions when I die, and I stand in front of Jesus. I have spent my life digging out my own darkness for this purpose. I want to be able to stand up when I die, not collapse in guilt, shame and humiliation.

“I will praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are your works, and that my soul knows very well.” -Psalms 139:14

Believing in God on the outside is one aspect of faith, believing in yourself is another. God is within you. God works through you.

“For it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” -Philippians 2:13

I hope this card inspires you as much as it did for me today, Happy heart week…I love and appreciate every one of you.….xoxo



 “Faith, Self-Belief, Confidence, Divine Connection, Trust, Serenity, Surrender

To have faith, the 8th of the influence cards, is a beautiful thing. It inspires a feeling of serenity that is unshakable. With faith comes a level of self-confidence that sees you capable of overcoming all that life throws at you. To have self-belief gives you confidence when facing new and challenging situations. When out in a social setting, you are comfortable to be yourself. Having self-belief allows you to enjoy life more because you are less troubled by insecurity.

With faith in yourself and your abilities, you stand a greater chance of having a successful career, you are more confident in taking well-considered risks, you are healthier and happier because you are less under pressure, and emotional and mental stress. In turn, your relationships with others will be better also.

On the other hand, a lack of self-belief or faith can be seen in our moods, the way we speak about ourselves, our body language, and actions. Without faith and belief in self, every decision can become almost an excruciating process.

If you do not believe that you will succeed or do well, then, sadly, there is an increased chance that you will not. Doubt and a lack of faith breeds mistakes, procrastination, and self-sabotage. But know this, you are not unimportant. You are somebody. You are unique. You have gifts. You have strengths. You have talents. You are bright with potential, and if you believe in yourself you will shine.

A little belief can go a long way. With faith and self-belief, you can accomplish great things…even miracles.

Your confidence, while growing up, was influenced by what those around you said to you or about you. If those around you were kind and supportive, not just in words but in actions also, you had every chance of growing to be become a confident adult with healthy self esteem and confidence. This confidence would have increased as you moved out into the world, because you left home with the best tools in hand to meet life with a smile.

However, while we are told that we should strive to not be affected by others negative perceptions or opinions of us, especially those unwarranted criticisms and barbs born of insecurities and doubts of the person who offered the negative opinion, words can and do hurt. They can cause real and lasting pain. If the exposure to those who hurt us is prolonged or repeated, their unkind words and actions can cause deep and lasting psychological wounds that destroy self-belief, confidence and faith, the ability to trust in self or others.

Therefore, it is important to remember to be kind, above all else. Faith and self-belief are born of kindness. People are fragile, it is not only physical blows that can cause us harm. To ridicule and to instill doubt in another just because you, yourself, have doubts, can result in lifelong destruction of another person’s self-belief and self-worth. Remember that the wrong words at the wrong time can do lasting harm. When we feel an impulse to ridicule, we can stop and ask ourselves if we truly can be at peace if we cause another person distress. Would we be okay with another person ridiculing us or worse still, our own child, and causing them to doubt themselves, not just for a short time but for their entire lifetime? We must not make the mistake of believing that this is not possible. It is. The wrong words at the wrong time can do lasting harm. But, equally, the right words at the right time can heal and restore self-belief.  

One of the messages of the faith card is to ‘Do unto others as you would have them do unto you’, rather than ‘Do unto others, what others have done unto you in the past.” Unless, of course, they have been kind and supportive. But if, in response to treatment you received in your past, you find yourself becoming hard and critical, or inclined to label others in an unkind manner, use this message to help you become aware of the potential harm you might do to others because of the lack of faith you have in yourself.

Avoid focusing on your own past mistakes in a way that destroys your confidence in the present. Remember, you only truly fail when you stop trying. Change direction if you wish. Try something new if that’s what you need and desire. But do not stop trying just because you’ve made mistakes in the past. So what if those things did not eventuate as you had hoped? It happens to everyone, even those you see as successful. Have faith that everything happens for a reason, and that maybe, just maybe, you did not succeed in the past because something better waits for you now, if you are willing to have faith and keep trying.

Belief in yourself does require a little effort and introspection. To increase self-belief, you need to know who you are and to consider why you lack confidence and self-belief in the first place. Are you uncertain and unsure of your path? Do you feel that all you do is not good enough?

The faith card asks you to have faith. Believe. You are good enough. In fact, you are not only good enough, but you are enough. We all are. Yes, we can be more. We can all be better. But we are also enough. All that we strive to becomes is because we choose to be better, not because we are not good enough in the present. Faith in the present comes to tell you that you are not alone, and that your dreams and aspirations are a wonderful thing. Trust in them. All will unfold as it is meant to. Trust in yourself. Those around you believe in you, so it is time for you to believe in yourself.

Having a belief in a higher power or spiritual path can have great benefit. It is not about embracing religion but embracing connection. Cultivate the belief that you are a part of something larger, because you are. We are all connected, and simple awareness and celebration of that connection can bring serenity.

You are being watched over. You are worthy of happiness and abundance. Meet your obstacles in your path with a smile and confidence. You are strong enough to overcome them and continue forward. Yes, life is likely to offer you moments of heartbreak and pain, but, if you have faith in yourself and the Divine, you will move through those moments with more ease. Having faith brings serenity, and the confidence to trust and go with the flow. When you have faith, the choice is made with ease and clarity. There is no need to fight, control and struggle, because you trust in yourself to know that you are heading in the right direction. Have faith.” Dreams of Gaia Tarot Page 154-155 Faith

-To purchase deck visit the website below or amazon.


-Dreams of Gaia photos from

-Self-love photo by:




The closest thing to perfect


As most of you know I have been on a weight loss journey my entire freaking life. It has been a constant battle for me and even though I really eat good, it seems to come off slloowww. I swear on my grave, it will say,”She tried really hard to lose weight.”

I seem to really pack it on when I am doing disaster work. It’s a lot of stress and not so great places to eat or what you have to choose from. Medically I have nothing wrong that I am aware of , I do have a bit of insulin resistance and maybe a touch of adrenal fatigue which I know doesn’t help much.

I am not a huge exerciser so I know I can improve in that area. The clip below had me crying because I was laughing so hard. This is how you feel when you are really trying hard to be good. My issue is actually not will-power, I have a ton of it when I set my mind to something but when I don’t see results after a while that I think I should be having, it makes me want to give up.

I started this 21 day to weight loss journey book with Marianne Williamson. It talks about the inner issues that go along with your distorted view of yourself and your weight. I am only on day 4 but I have had a few dreams about my mom. I sat down this morning and looked at it symbolically.


See my mom was super thin her entire life, which was difficult for me because I was a bigger girl. She got up every day and exercised and she tried to eat good, as well as she could back then but my mom had this terrible mindset about being perfect or what that should look like. I realized this morning that as I knew I have carried it with me, I didn’t know how deep it ran.

The dream I had was about my mom trying to take all my clothes that I didn’t fit in and she was going on a date. I was super pissed in the dream and I didn’t want her to take them. I said, “STOP taking my clothes, I will eventually fit in them again.” She just ignored me, got ready and left. She also left her mickey mouse watch. A little back story, when I was younger, I had no money and was trying to support myself and Ryan. It was really hard because I had no support and I could not buy gifts for Birthdays and Christmases, I always felt guilty. One year I had money and I bought my mom this watch from Disney. I was so proud because I had extra money to buy her something and I understood this morning that a lot of your self-worth is tied up into whether you are able to support yourself and those you love.

A few things stuck out about the dream. My mother coming for one, self value was another and thirdly  that I was really trying hard to keep these clothes that didn’t fit anymore. I was angry in fact. Pissed that she could fit in them and I couldn’t. Kinda of how you feel when others seem to lose weight easily and you are busting your ass and get a pound..

One of the exercises in this book is you have to write a letter to your fat self and a letter to your thin one. I did that yesterday and this is what came out:

My Dear Fatness-
Why oh why do you enjoy tormenting me? I would love to not worry about taking care of you. Watching what you eat because I am afraid you are going to gain more weight. You suck joy from my life with your stupid issues that won’t budge, no matter what I do to try and change you. What is the problem because try as I might, I cannot figure out what your deal is- I mean seriously. You are hindering my growth and my life. In my mind’s eye, I am not this overweight person. I am light, flexible, beautiful and creative. Not fat, unmovable and heavy. Please, please, please tell me what it’s going to take to get you back down to size.
The Thin One

To the want to be thin one:
Much of my life I have spent protecting, taking care of and stuffing the emotions of you. I didn’t start carrying weight always. It used to be fun to release weight. There was a purpose. Now what is the point? Why do you want me to be thin? What is it worth? More heartache, more regret and more pain. More pain to feel from shame and embarrassment that you had to deal with pretty much your entire life. If I stay fat I can buffer that. I can cushion the weight of the pain and the fear of life. The blows won’t knock me over. I can stand stronger. I can feel more grounded and can handle others energies. When you are thin, you allow others to use and abuse you. You only think your beautiful if your thin. Until you learn to stand up and realize this truth, I will remain for eternity.
How do you like them apples?
Ms. Fatness

I would highly recommend doing this to understand what is running amok in your mind. It’s really important you let yourself just write. Whatever comes out. It might not be very pretty or politically correct. You don’t get to the truth without telling it. As you can see above, I have some digging to do. My conscious self is not aligned with my subconscious one. It is not up with the times or all the work I have done. My subconscious is stuck in this area. It needs to be thawed, heard and healed.
This is how you look at things that are stuck within you. You have to dig and ask questions. Sometimes there is a disconnect that needs to be connected again. A part of you that is separate due to life lessons and fear. Shame. Guilt. Embarrassment. Disgust. All those emotions that we act like don’t bother us but inside and deep down they do. Then they build up over time like a wall. A wall of protection. We need a wall of love.

My mom did her best that she knew at that time. Just like I am. She gave me a lot of good traits and some bad ones. Perfectionism will never allow you to feel accomplished at anything because there is always something that won’t be good enough. It’s a double- edged sword. One way it makes you strive to be the best and the other is, it won’t allow you to accept and love yourself the way you are. There has to be balance and this is what I am pondering on this Sunday, where are you stuck?……xoxo

Holistic Corner: Weight not, want not.

Weight gain and loss has always been a challenge for me, especially as I have gotten older. I remember when I used to be able to eat salad at night and lose weight every day. Not anymore. Last year I started to notice my fasting blood sugar was up, I thought it was a fluke. I basically ignored it. 
I have had a high emotional/physical stressful life, fear and panic, especially when I was younger. As I have gotten older and learned how to navigate better I don’t have the swings that I used to but years and years of stress have taken their toll on me. Disaster work is also a stress on every level. It is all how we process and I was not taught as a child how to deal with any kind of stress very well. I have had to parent myself to learn how to navigate life differently. This has all made a perfect storm for weight and protection.
Your family does the best it can with the knowledge and awareness they have at the time. It is up to you to change what is not working for you anymore.
At the beginning of the year, I cut out all sugar pretty much. No carbs that were not good carbs and by good I mean only vegetables. Good carbs were making me gain. I tried Paleo, teas, shakes and none of it made a dent and caused me to gain weight. It seemed like everything I ate caused me to gain and now my A1C was 6.0
I tried to exercise and do the body builder diet. 8 months later, I felt better but hadn’t lost a freaking pound and it’s not like I don’t work on myself with emotions, mental and spiritual, I do it every day. It’s been very frustrating.
I am not a mediator or an avid exerciser. I try to do those things because I know they are really good for me but it is a self effort and a discipline for me. I have to force myself.
This a great article about insulin resistance by Dr. Christiane Northrup, who I have read for years. She is a way shower. I appreciate all her work and trials to give women an opportunity to do things differently. These people get ridiculed a lot. When you choose to go and do things against the norm, you get tons of crap. People make fun of you, they think you are crazy, talk about you behind your back and question everything you do. You just have to keep going and she has. I understand and really, really appreciate it. This has been me, my entire life. 
Dr Christiane Northrup
In January I decided to give it another go. I don’t want to have diabetes, heart disease, etc. I, honestly, just want to walk out of my body when I am don’t want to be sick, ill or have a drama trauma to take me out. While I am here I want to live the best life I can and be the best person I can be. I work my ass off at this. It is not an easy path. Easy paths are much more, well, EASY…that is not who I am.
Now it is March and even if it is coming off really slow. I have lost 14 pounds and reduced my A1C to 5.5. I am really tired of worrying about my weight. I mean seriously, on my tombstone it will say, ” She’s tried REALLY hard to lose weight her entire life.” Enough. IS. Enough.
I will keep doing everything I know how to do, to be the best I can on every level. Ask for help and support. I will love me. Cherish me. Tell myself I am beautiful. Treat my body good. Open my heart. Change my mind and LIVE.
I hope you will do the same….xoxo
Photo of Dr. Northrup from her Facebook page
Scale photo from

Holistic Corner: Heart Sick

I am sad today and honestly, flipping angry. On Valentines Day and the start of Lent no less, we had another mass shooting.
What can we do to stop this from happening? Can we stop it?
Have we as a culture created this by blocking feelings, creating games and movies that show you how to blow another’s head off? Oh fun right? War, violence, abuse. So great(not really) to watch on TV or at the movies but when the fake becomes real, everyone is wondering WHY.
Why are people so upset that they feel the need to take another life. Where are we missing the warning signs and are we in denial or just ignorant. Should we be following up with people that are showing signs of craziness? Rage? Hostility? Revenge? Is it up to other people looking on or work we should be doing in ourselves and our communities. Or both? Where is the disconnect with the heart?
Mass shootings are becoming more and more often. I remember Columbine. I can tell you exactly where I was that day and what I felt. Heartsick.
Sure we can put metal detectors in schools, create stricter guns laws,etc but really the problem is not with the weapon, it is only a tool of the evil inside. The evil that has festered and grown to where it takes on it’s own identity and then has no remorse, no love and no light left. Darkness. Pain. Rage. Revenge.

19 For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20 These are what defile a person; but eating with unwashed hands does not defile them.” Matthew 15: 19-20

To make matters worse we ignore those that are weird, crazy and just don’t make sense. We drug them, jail them and put them in holes to punish them but we never seem to figure out WHY they are doing it in the first place. Most of the time you cannot even ask one because they are already dead. They commit suicide just so they won’t have to deal with Earth justice. It is sickening and so unfair.
Our leaders spend so much time fighting each other and with stupid stuff that doesn’t matter, it is a joke. We have to start being our own leaders in our own areas and lives. WE MATTER. WE MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
Weed out the darkness in your own life and for God’s sake when you see something or someone that seems to be not OK, SAY SOMETHING to someone. Don’t just run and ignore what is happening. CARE about your fellow man, not just the people in your circle.
I refuse to believe that we cannot make changes, even if it just within your own SELF. Do your own inner work. If you don’t know how, find someone to help you. There are thousands of teachers, preachers, life coaches and therapists. Stop the excuses about, “This is just the way I am.” You just aren’t trying hard enough. Look within your own family. LOOK WITHIN YOUR OWN HEART. Don’t let the darkness win.
When we really want something and the desire is there you can find a way. If you have no money, find someone who will work with you, trust me there are plenty of people that will do that. I know because when I was struggling, I found them.
I also know that you have to want to change. Whatever the area and you cannot ever give up. Never stop fighting to make the world a better place and the world within yourself. Never give up.
My thoughts and prayers are with those that lost lives and the ripple effect that it caused yesterday…I am so sorry for your loss….xoxo

Always evolving and barking at the moon.


For the last few days coming up onto this eclipse, lots of hidden emotions are coming to light. That is what the full moons and especially the eclipses are for. Lighting up the night. Stuff that is hidden, keeping you stuck. Emotions, patterns, behaviors,etc.

I have had something happen in my life in the last few weeks that upset me. Really more than I care to admit. My Jeep got wrecked. I feel like that car commercial that says, ” I named my car Larry and I am upset that he is gone.” This is how I have felt. Totally out of my control.

That car has been around with me for over 10 years and if this hadn’t happened I probably wouldn’t have gotten rid of it till it died. Circumstances beyond my control happened and took all my well laid plans and threw them out the window with a laugh.

“Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the LORD’s purpose that prevails.”  Proverbs 19:21

I had to make a decision whether I wanted to keep the car or not. Was the car serving my highest good and was it still serving what I needed it for? or was it time to let it go. These are the questions that I have been thinking about the last few days. Everything has energy, could be living or not. Your energy goes into physical things and I was really attached to this car.

I was looking at the energy I associated with this car and why was I having such an issue? This car makes me feel safe. I have taken it to many disasters and one side of the country to the other, through a hurricane and it never let me down or stranded me. It was my home when I wasn’t at home. I have all my safety stuff in it. Food, water, blankets, etc.

Not only did it get wrecked but then it got broken into. I felt that was not a fitting end to the car that was by my side for 10 years. It didn’t deserve such an ending to it’s journey with me.

I tried to look at it like this. If it hadn’t been sacrificed, maybe the person that was driving it would have been hurt. Maybe the car took the energy so the person didn’t have to. That seemed to make me feel better. It actually still was doing it’s job of protector, it just wasn’t with me.

I could have gotten the car fixed. I had enough money to do so but with 179,000 well drove miles I had to think about what was ahead for me and it. Lots more driving, lots more disaster. I really need a car with less miles on it. I had an opening to change.


CHANGE…..There is that word.

When the universe gives you a choice and either way could be taken then you choose and have to live with the consequences. I get stuck here a lot. I get afraid to make a “wrong” choice and as I say that I know there are no “wrong” choices only learning opportunities. My 48 year old self knows that but there is a younger, emotional self that rears it’s head when things like this happen.

The one that made decisions that hurt her deeply so there is always a warning in my ego that says, “Watch out this could be a disaster.” Did you look at every angle? Are you making the best choice for everyone concerned? Are you SURE you are doing the “right” thing?

So I pray when I get like this. I ask for guidance because I cannot get out of my own way and I need help. I look for guidance in small things. Repeated phrases, dreams, words upon waking and then I ask for another’s opinion of someone I trust. Then I weigh all that and make a choice.

I chose to let the car go. Just like you have to make choices sometimes that aren’t fun. They can hurt people and they can hurt yourself but you don’t know unless you choose. One way or another.

This eclipse falls in when all this is happening. Some things that happen in your life are a reflection to get you to move and change even when you don’t want to. If you look under things you will see that. The wreck was just not a wreck. The jeep was not just a Jeep to me. It stood for somethings that I need to still keep working on to build stronger within myself.

Outside and inside. God is always working to evolve you and you can be thankful for that.

So tomorrow I am going to clean out my car and thank it for it’s service in my life. I am grateful for things that make me feel safe and secure and I am really very grateful for my jeep. I am also grateful for the energy in the universe that helped me choose this car so long ago and I pray for guidance when picking a new one.

The universe will always be there and have your back even with small or large choices in life. You just have to ask. Onward and upward. Always evolving…Life goes on.

That is my trigger in healing for this full moon, what is happening with you? …xoxo



Images via Google

Everything will be OK…

Three wise men and starIt has been awhile since I have written anything for the blog.

I have been gone on deployment with FEMA, the double hurricanes at the end of the summer and into fall. I didn’t even get home but right before thanksgiving.

Disaster always puts you in a different mind-set. It is all about survival. All of the things we take for granted on a daily basis become the most important things to us. Food, Water, Shelter, Electricity, Gas and Love. These are the things that are most needed. All of the other things fall away for a time. You are worried how you are going to eat and how your going to stay hot or cold with no electric and how you are going to get food if you have no gas or no gas to get away in the coming storm.

It is a tremendous amount of stress to be had by all. The people affected and the people going in after it happens to recover. You are running on adrenaline for weeks. The stress and the emotions are in the air, hanging like fruit. That energy has to be discharged and transmuted back into the earth. I feel like that is what natural disasters are in a sense. Clearing energies that need to be cleared off the lands. If we get full and heavy, can you imagine what the earth has to hold and transmute with all of our thoughts and emotions on a daily basis. Just think about that for a second…

One thing it makes you really aware of is life. How fragile it is and how it can be gone in an instant.

When I came home this time, I was fried. This hit me a bit harder than ones I had been on before, maybe because it was so long or so big. My part in it is small compared to others parts that they play, I am a baby in the disaster world.

One thing is for certain, you don’t realize how much of the energy that you take on until you go home and thaw out. I started trembling and buzzing about a week before I came home, I knew I needed a break. When you have empathy for people, you don’t realize that you put yourself in their shoes and feel what they FEEL and when you are seeing a lot of people and including the energy of the land, which I am just learning about as a healer, you really have no idea what goes on with the vibrations of everything.

I got a crash course this time.

I do the normal things that I have been taught to do for protection. Pray, visualize and essential oils but you cannot protect yourself from life. Life happens. Death happens. Disaster happens. To everyone. It really is about how you get through it.

One lady really stuck out in my mind and not for a reason that you would think.

She was really shaken up, and it’s not like I don’t see this ALL the time. I mean, everyone is upset, EVERY PERSON you come into contact with is UPSET.

This lady though was an interesting case. She had no damage to her residence, she was able to get out safely and she had no family members that were hurt. What she was upset about was her plants outside. They were demolished. She was sitting on her porch when I arrived, visibly shaking and crying. Her husband was trying to talk to her with no avail.

I sat down next to her on the porch. Her husband got up and left us, after I told them who I was. You could tell he didn’t know what to do with her and was losing patience with her upset as he rolled his eyes.

I let her cry and talk. She talked about how she had nursed these plants for years and years and that they were her babies and now they were all dead. DEAD, she said. I took her hand and said, ” Come and look at this plant. You see the roots are still there and there is green still on them. They are not dead but they have been through a trauma and will need lots of love, sun and water to recover but because the root is still there, it will still grow back, maybe better than before.”

She looked at me with tears in her eyes and said, ” So you think they will recover?” I said, ” Yes, I do, and these other plants will as well, they have strong roots from you taking care of them, their entire lives. The love that you give them will see them through.”

She stopped crying. I gave her a hug and said that statement that you always say. “Everything is going to be OK, even if you don’t think it is. Let the earth and the people heal and all will be well. It is just going to take some time.”

So many times we respond with anger in trauma because we are scared ourselves. Anger is secondary to fear.  I remember when my mother died. People told me that everything would be OK, I said, ” You all are stupid. It will never be OK.” I resisted the flow of life for a long time, rebelled, tried to keep my anger at life.

Today, it is OK and after many years, I can remember good things now. Allow the joy of life to come back and not just see the sadness, destruction and disaster. It’s important to get to the other side of trauma and not get stuck in it. You have to allow the trauma to be witnessed. It has to be felt and then worked through. You have to feel safe to release trauma. SAFE. This is something that after a disaster you don’t feel for a long while. People lose their entire lives that they have built. It is very traumatizing. It can affect everyone differently. It can be a small as losing a house plant and as big as losing a house. The remedy is all the same. LOVE. COMPASSION. The basic necessities of life that we all need.

We all have had a disaster in some form or another in our lives and usually, but not always, this is why we are not very nice.

So the next time you encounter a jack ass, try responding different and let me know how it goes. Maybe just try for Christmas. Try it with your family, who is always a trigger of all your unhealed stuff. Try it with your co-worker that drives you nuts. Try to put yourself in their shoes to see how really hard it is to be them, being a jack ass on a daily basis. Really it takes A LOT of energy to be that way even if some people make it look easy. ; )

Maybe, just maybe some hearts will be healed and who wouldn’t want that for Christmas right?….xoxo


(Image via Google Images)




Holistic Corner: Feeling it all-Brad Pitt

Photo of Mr. Pitt from:

I woke up last night with a dream about Brad Pitt. When I was younger his life was a lot on my radar in dream, then it died down a bit as I evolved and learned from others. Everything is a reflection for you to grow.

Now that he was back, talking to me, I figured I had better do some research about what was bringing him into that realm again.

He has just done an article for GQ Style…along with some fantastic photos. The interview itself is raw and shows a part of celebrity that we don’t usually see. We get to see the perfection, not the imperfect, which is why celebrity is dangerous. It paints a life that isn’t real, a goal to obtain which is not realistic. This was vulnerable.

Whether he did it as a brilliant PR move or not is besides the point of it being symbolic of the male energy on the planet at this time and what is needed for it to evolve.

The male energy is really trying to come to grips with the female sides of themselves. This is in everyone, regardless of gender. Good or bad. You have to acknowledge and accept who you are. Then and only then can you rise from where you are to be better or change. If you continue to deny, you will stay stuck at the level of consciousness that you are.

Everyone is having to do this work. There was a couple of things he said about dealing with the inner emotions that are hidden and what he had uncovered to this point.

“I get up every morning and I make a fire. When I go to bed, I make a fire, just because—it makes me feel life. I just feel life in this house.” -Brad Pitt

Fire is very purifying. It is interesting that he said, “to FEEL life.” When you say the words feel, you are coming from the heart. When you smother the fire of the heart with addiction and denial you cannot feel anything. When you are smothering, you think that you cannot handle what is trying to come up or try not to deal with it.

“I do remember a few spots along the road where I’ve become absolutely tired of myself. And this is a big one. These moments have always been a huge generator for change. And I’m quite grateful for it. But me, personally, I can’t remember a day since I got out of college when I wasn’t boozing or had a spliff, or something. Something. And you realize that a lot of it is, um—cigarettes, you know, pacifiers. And I’m running from feelings. I’m really, really happy to be done with all of that. I mean I stopped everything except boozing when I started my family. But even this last year, you know—things I wasn’t dealing with. I was boozing too much. It’s just become a problem. And I’m really happy it’s been half a year now, which is bittersweet, but I’ve got my feelings in my fingertips again. I think that’s part of the human challenge: You either deny them all of your life or you answer them and evolve.”- Brad Pitt

Relationships are your biggest key to change, they are the igniter and he is right you can either answer them or not or evolve or not. It’s your choice but the opportunity has never been a better time to evolve. The energies have never been higher to help those that want to change, to open, to rise. But it takes work…work that most are struggling to do on their own and then here comes the igniter from your soul to push you. A divorce, a job loss, a death, a illness, some earthly suffering.

“Yeah, you start by removing all the decor and decorations, I think. You get down to the structure. Wow, we are in some big metaphor here now.…” – Brad Pitt

Demolition. Sometimes that is what is required for change. You are your house. Your insides are a reflection of what is outside. Sometimes you need to go back to the foundation of where it started in order for you to see where it needs to change. This is some serious work, and it is not always fun. Digging, digging down to see the beliefs that create the emotions that are being blocked and you find out that one belief has been running some of your show your entire life. That is a come-to-Jesus moment.

“You strip down to the foundation and break out the mortar. I don’t know. For me this period has really been about looking at my weaknesses and failures and owning my side of the street. I’m an asshole when it comes to this need for justice. I don’t know where it comes from, this hollow quest for justice for some perceived slight. I can drill on that for days and years. It’s done me no good whatsoever. It’s such a silly idea, the idea that the world is fair. And this is coming from a guy who hit the lottery, I’m well aware of that. I hit the lottery, and I still would waste my time on those hollow pursuits.” – Brad Pitt

Justice means-“just behavior or treatment.” -Google

We think that if we behave in a certain way, there is an expectation that others should also behave in that way. Life is unfair. We think we need to have justice and we don’t see that it turns into judgement and then who is right and wrong. Round and round we go, where it stops nobody knows. This is Karma. It will never end until you stop and look at yourself. You will see that part of the perception of another is actually you. By making another wrong, you make yourself right. You then win and what is it we get out of winning? Redemption. Self worth. Another day you don’t have to look at yourself and your own issues.

Am I saying that others always behave and act with integrity? No, but you can. This is true growth but you have to heal the shadows. The things that are eclipsed. The things that are hidden from our own view. You can only work on yourself.

“Sitting with those horrible feelings, and needing to understand them, and putting them into place. In the end, you find: I am those things I don’t like. That is a part of me. I can’t deny that. I have to accept that. And in fact, I have to embrace that. I need to face that and take care of that. Because by denying it, I deny myself. I am those mistakes. For me every misstep has been a step toward epiphany, understanding, some kind of joy. Yeah, the avoidance of pain is a real mistake. It’s the real missing out on life. It’s those very things that shape us, those very things that offer growth, that make the world a better place, oddly enough, ironically. That make us better.” – Brad Pitt 

“It’s a different world, too. We know more, we’re more focused on psychology. I come from a place where, you know, it’s strength if we get a bruise or cut or ailment we don’t discuss it, we just deal with it. We just go on. The downside of that is it’s the same with our emotion. I’m personally very retarded when it comes to taking inventory of my emotions. I’m much better at covering up. I grew up with a Father-knows-best/war mentality—the father is all-powerful, super strong—instead of really knowing the man and his own self-doubt and struggles. And it’s hit me smack in the face with our divorce: I gotta be more. I gotta be more for them. I have to show them. And I haven’t been great at it.”-Brad Pitt

Photo of Mr. Pitt from:

We cannot be strong if we deny. Real strength comes from acceptance not being fake and I am not talking about whiny,  reality TV, crying drama. We see enough of that on a daily basis. Real heart emotions will transform you. Your female side will be strong. This is the only way to be balanced and it is a daily job. Look at who is reflecting your female and male sides back to you…

Mr. Pitt has this quote on his arm. “There exists a field, beyond all notions of right and wrong. I will meet you there.” -Rumi

This is hopefully the road that he is taking steps to become on his soul journey. The only way to be one within, is to be balanced with the male and female energies. This is the challenge and calling of us all. It is time to rise up to greatness, feel it all and heal the heart….xoxo

To read the full article on Brad Pitt here:

Quotes from Brad Pitt via GQ and PHOTOGRAPHS BY