Something has just been eating away at me lately, I have been having this issue in my personal life and the only word I can put on it is recognition.
So I am writing about this to see if I can bring clarity to myself for the mis belief that I have in my own mind.
I cannot speak for all women, I can only speak for myself and how I feel and sometimes I feel tired.
Tired of always being the one expected to cook, clean and take care of everything in the house. This is because I do not work outside of the home.
My husband, whom I am so grateful for, has always been able to provide for us. Times have been tough at certain times and I have not worked only a few years of our lifetime together, this has been my longest stretch off.
In the time I have had off, I have really been productive for myself I think. I have finished school. Created a line of Green Chili, created a bath and body line, started a holistic business and am working on a hunting lodge. Oh and I am writing a book. Not to mention how much work I have done on myself to continue my own growth.
Here’s my dilemma. Why can I not feel like I have accomplished anything? Why do I think that just because I have not made a lot of money, is the work that I have done not been recognized?Why can I not acknowledge myself?
The things that get recognized are what you are not doing, like when you don’t cook dinner, when the house is a mess or other wife/mother issues.
I just had a conversation with my son who is upset because I do not cook for him a lot of the time. My feeling is I don’t need to cook for you, you are 21. How about cooking for me?How about just worrying about yourself and if there is no food, make some. If the trash is full, take it out.
Don’t expect just because I am your Mother that it gives you the right to not have to do anything. Mother’s get tired too. Just because I do not work outside the home, doesn’t mean I don’t do work ALL the time. Just because I don’t get paid doesn’t mean that I don’t save thousands of dollars in things that this household would have to pay for to have someone else do.
Mother’s never get vacation, every day I am doing something, everyone looks to the wife and mothers to handle it. So to this I say, Recognize your wife, your mother, your husband, your kids. BE GRATEFUL for them.
Show your love, not by being selfish, but by asking “What can I do for you”? Not “What have you not done for me”
My husband gets up everyday he is home and makes me breakfast. I am so grateful for that. I dont’ really like to cook, so he does this for me. When he is not home, I cook for myself. It may not be a huge breakfast that he makes but I feed myself. I do not expect him to cook all the time. He does it because he LIKES to cook.
What if we all did for each other what we LIKE to do and get recognized for it?
Acknowledge those in your life….make them feel like they are the most special in the world, even if they are not doing ANYTHING for you.
This is what love is, it just is. I just LOVE you. Just because you are you. I just want to be present with you. That is enough for me.
Not because your house is a mess, your laundry isn’t done, your hair and makeup aren’t right or you haven’t done anything for me.
If you have a condition on your love, it is not love. Look at what you are doing, I am sure that would take up most of your time that you spend on looking at what someone else is not doing for you.
I always tell my friends when I come over and they say their house is a mess: “When you are dead, I am not going to come over to your house, your house will not matter to me. What will matter is YOU.”
Recognize your accomplishments, you are enough and you are worthy, receive your goodness…….xoxo