Words of Wisdom From Others: The Inner Warrior

This is from a friend of mine that I have know since I was 14..and he gave me permission to share it. Thanks Dave!

“It’s doesn’t matter what the world thinks of us.  It’s what we think of ourselves that matters most.  In each of us there is an inner warrior.  He watches what we do.  Our inner warriors know what we are doing.  Most importantly, they know what we are capable of.

This morning while running, I felt the stare of my inner warrior.  He was paying close attention to my effort.  I was working on a 30 minute run.  Typically, I start out at a moderate pace and increase effort as I go.  After 10 minutes, I kicked up the effort.  While not fully sweating, I was starting to perspire.  My breathing was steady and my focus was strong.  Every couple of minutes I would increase the pace.  Around 20 minutes I knew this would be a good run.  But how good?  What was the warrior thinking?  I could do better and I knew it.  Instead of every two minutes, I increased the pace every minute.  Focus.  Controlled breathing. Steady stride.  He was paying attention and I knew it.  Towards the end I was at a near sprint.  I had two minutes to go and was starting to hurt.  Could I finish at this pace?  It would be hard.  Maybe I should slow.  If I did that, at least I could say I finished.  There would be no shame.  The more I thought about it, the better it sounded.  Then I looked.  My inner warrior was frowning.  He knows what I’m capable of and his look told me if I could do better.  Damn his judgmental stare.  Damn his desire to do better.  This hurt.  I decided to slow a bit and the frown on his brow deepened.  I pulled my hand back.  Damn his unforgiving control.  Who the hell is he to judge me?  I’ll show him.  Instead of slowing, I picked up the pace.  That bastard thinks he can do better.  I reach up and increased the pace again.  I am now at a full sprint.  My hands and arms are pumping.  My legs are thrusting like a locomotive.  I’ll show him!  Thirty seconds to go.  I can do this!  Twenty seconds to go.  It hurts.  Ten seconds to go.  Almost done.  And then I am there.  I finished.  I slow to cool down.  I am projectile sweating.  From top to bottom I am drenched.  I invested the time for myself and the reward is only shared by me and me.

It doesn’t matter what anybody else thought as I was running.  As I was grunting.  As I was sweating.  As I was gasping for breath.  It only matters what I think of myself.  And what my inner warrior thinks.  Is he still frowning?  Have I let him down?  Nervously I look over to see.  He saw my effort.  I didn’t quit.  Would it be good enough?  With anticipation I wait for his reaction.  Then I get it.  He smiles.

Life is good my friends.” David Leinberger

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