You can identify your shadows by looking at what you project onto others. When you deny a trait in yourself, you tend to be very …aware of that trait in other people. In AA, they say, “If you spot it, you got it.” This means that you are most alert to those traits in others which reflect your own shadows. You may react irrationally to one of these traits in someone else, blowing things out of proportion.
So, you can begin to identify your shadows by looking at the things which annoy you in others. Another way to spot your shadows is to look for things you find yourself doing by accident. No matter how hard you try to keep your bag sealed, your shadow may leak out in a way that seems beyond your control. For example, you may promise yourself that you’re going to spend more time with your family, yet it seems that you’re spending more time at work.
You may find yourself jumping from one self-defeating relationship to another. You may ignore your own rules about eating, smoking or drinking. When you repeat a pattern of behavior involuntarily, it may be a sign that your shadow is running your life. History and anthropology teach us that a human society cannot long survive unless its members are psychologically contained within a central living myth. Such a myth provides the individual with a reason for being. –Edward Edinger, The Creation of Consciousness, Jung’s Myth for Modern Man, 1984, p.9
This came from Tantra on FB